


The Post-Credits Scene That They Didn't Want You to See

by DancingKirby



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Anachronistic, And please don't take it too seriously, Anti-Jon, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Character Death Fix, Crack, Don't read this if you liked S8, Drogon and Ghost can talk for some reason, F/F, F/M, Gen, Multi, Referenced Polyamory, meme references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 19:30:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18901171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DancingKirby/pseuds/DancingKirby
Summary: Dany gets her revenge and a happy ending.





	The Post-Credits Scene That They Didn't Want You to See

**Author's Note:**

> I might actually get to my serious fix-it fic someday...or maybe not. Until then, there's this. I could have used it to rant and rave about everything I disliked about S8...but it's nothing that a bunch of people more eloquent than me have already said.
> 
> Last warning to not read this unless you're as thoroughly disgusted with Jon as I am!

When Jon and the wildlings arrived at the new settlement, they were greeted by the last person they expected to see. There Dany stood, leaning against the shiny new “WELCOME TO FREEFOLKVILLE” sign, with a Starbucks cup in one hand and a baby in a sling around her neck. Drogon was curled up nearby, napping.

“Surprise, bitch!” she said. “I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me.”

“Dany?!” Jon exclaimed. His brow furrowed as he desperately tried to corral the few brain cells that had not been consumed by his parasitic manbun. “What are you…you were supposed to be…”

“Dead?” Dany finished for him. “You of all people should know that death isn’t necessarily permanent in this world. As it turns out, Drogon made some friends during his travels while I was in Meereen, and they were all too happy to resurrect me.”

Drogon’s head perked up as his name was mentioned, and his nostrils twitched.

“CAN I DRACARYS HIM NOW, MOM?” he boomed. “PRETTY PLEASE? I’M HUNGRY!”

“Just a few more minutes, sweetie,” Dany told him.

“And about that baby,” Jon cut in, annoyed at being ignored. “You didn’t tell me you were pregnant.”

Dany sighed, “I tried. You never gave me enough time. Anyway, her name is Rhaenyra.”

“ _Why is it always a girl_??” Jon howled while looking dramatically upwards.

Dany thought for a few seconds and replied, “You know, that’s a good question. I think it must have something to do with the appeal of ‘Daddy’s little girl.’ It’s not just a thing with us, either. Fanfics about Tommy and Kim from Power Rangers are notorious for them always having a girl.”

“…Oh. Well, anyway, if you’re going to have Drogon Dracarys me, you might as well get on with it. I guess it’s what I deserve, and to be honest I’m not sure why he didn’t do it before.”

“I THOUGHT THAT THE POINTY CHAIR KILLED MOM!” Drogon said. 

“An easy mistake to make,” Dany assured him. Then, to Jon, “Any last words?”

“Just that I really don’t see what the whole point of me being a Targaryen was.”

“Indeed. It’s quite a mystery,” Dany answered solemnly. Then, “Okay, Drogon. Dracarys.”

Drogon gave it his all. When the flames died down, he said, “FINALLY, SOME GOOD FUCKING FOOD!”

“Watch your language!” Dany admonished.

“WELL, _YOU_ SAID ‘BITCH,’” Drogon grumbled, but decided to let the matter drop to eat his meal.

All this time, the wildlings and Ghost had been standing there quietly because the writers kind of forgot about them. At last, Tormund ventured, “Well, that sucks.”  
“Maybe. But does it really suck any more than the actual ending?” Dany asked. 

“That is a good point,” Tormund admitted. “But now I can’t make tiny pecker jokes anymore! Whoops, sorry. I’m supposed to say ‘japes’ so that it sounds more old-timey. Also ‘wench’ and ‘mayhaps.’”

“Sssh! That’s only in the books!” Dany said.

“Oh. Right. Anyway, I know I’m kind of the Awkward Conversation Guy, but this is getting to be a bit too much even for me.” He walked back to his house to turn on his stone computer and check for updates on his favorite subreddit, which was, naturally, Freefolk.

Meanwhile, Drogon had finished his meal.

“CAN I HAVE SECONDS?” he asked as he eyed the wildlings who were still standing there. Dany decided that maybe this would be a good time to leave.

“Let’s go find Grey Worm instead,” she suggested. Ghost came running up.

“Grey Worm? He’s my BFF!” Ghost said. “Although Jon always pronounced his name as ‘Greewa’ for some reason.”

“Yes, his enunciation was slipping a bit there toward the end,” Dany agreed. “And sorry about all…that.”

“It’s okay. I was still mad at him for leaving anyway. And Tormund’s bear and giant stories were getting old. So can I come with?”

“Certainly,” Dany said. She got on Drogon, trying her best to not to spill any coffee or jostle Rhaenyra, who had astoundingly slept through this whole thing. Ghost was carried in Drogon’s talons. And Drogon took off, although not without continuing to grumble about his missed opportunity for more food.

Changing diapers and breastfeeding while flying on a dragon were challenging, to say the least. Nevertheless, they eventually located Grey Worm in Naath; he had found Missandei’s birth parents and had been adopted by them. It just so happened that the house next door to them was on sale, and Dany wasted no time in buying the house, painting the door red, and planting several lemon trees. Now she finally had a happy life. Sometimes, Daario would visit from Meereen, and they would have sex. Other times, Yara would visit from the Iron Islands, and they would also have sex. And every so often, both of them would visit at the same time, and they would have threesomes.

Ghost got some quality bro time with Grey Worm, but ultimately had to move back with Tormund because the climate in Naath was too warm for him to stay long. Drogon, however, stayed on, and proved to be a valuable asset in the Unsullieds’ attempts to ward off slavers. He appreciated the free meat whenever a slaver was stupid enough to try to sneak past them. A dragon is not a slave, but it is not a fruititarian either.

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to reiterate that I’m so happy for the kudos and comments! I posted this on ff.net today, and a couple of people just took everything I wrote at face value and called me “stupid” and a “bitch.” I didn’t think it was that hard to understand what I was getting at! But it seems like people understand it here just fine.
> 
> Sorry. Just had to vent.


End file.
